Why Adults Aren't Into "Playing"

There's no denying that children spell love T-I-M-E. While there is infinite value in sitting on the floor, playing an imagination game with your child, we all know that there's very little time in an adult's day for play. We work, make dinner, get the kids bathed, do the fifth load of laundry for the day, make sure there's groceries - the list goes on.

Are you more likely to sit down and teach math or literacy concepts, rather than play? Probably - because these academic skills are rule based and measurable. Play is just as (if not more) valuable to the learning your young child is experiencing, but the reason it's so difficult is because play is unstructured. Play asks more of your imagination than you're willing to give. Play for adults is... boring.

How can we learn to enjoy and value playtime with kids?

(1) Acknowledge within yourself that you don't like it
What don't you like? Do your kids get stuck on a game that is uncomfortable or totally uninteresting to you? Are they super into playing with imaginary weapons, and you don't know how to react to that? Are they really into making their toys talk, and you just can't think of anything good to say while in the role of a Barbie? Identify it.

(2) Balance boundaries and creative liberty 
Maybe you decide that gun games are off limits for play time with you, or that you won't play on the structure at the playground if other kids are around. It's OK to have personal boundaries - but try to limit how much your personal preferences impact the play time. For a few minutes, stop taking yourself so seriously and let your kids' ideas lead the way.

(3) Agree on a time limit
If you're pressed for time (or can't handle pretending that you love playing for long periods of time) put 10 minutes on your phone timer. Have the timer visible to yourself and the kids, as well as setting an audible alarm so they will know that they have a sense of an actual end to your involvement.

(4) Play time is play time 
No checking Facebook. No texting. Don't even think about taking a photo of yourself playing something with your child, writing a caption about how you are playing together and then spending the entire time choosing a filter. Don't do that, guys. Be present.

(5) Play on the regular 
Once a day for 10 minutes? Once a week for 10 minutes of focused play per child? What can you do? Like anything, the more you do it the easier it becomes.

Early Intervention

We’ve all heard the old saying that prevention is better than cure. For many of the social differences that our kids face, there actually is no cure. ‘Prevention’ is therefore found in catching problems early, then learning to bravely tackle them head-on.  For many parents, the thought of having a child with special needs is terrifying. Facing up to the idea that your child is different, then finding out how to intervene, is the very best way to see your child live to their full potential.

You may have heard the term Early Intervention thrown around, without ever really knowing what it means. An Early Intervention is quite basically a system of services for babies and young children with developmental delays. The intervention begins by parents recognizing that their child is different from other (typically developing) children - then the intervention takes shape through the help of professionals in the field. Depending on the types of challenges your child is facing, you might benefit from consultations with Behavior Specialists, Occupational Therapists, Speech Therapists, Physical Therapists and more. This is not to say you will need every one of these specialists, or to assume that you can afford the bills that accompany all of this therapy. You know your child, and you will know which interventions will be most effective.

In situations where a child is receiving more than one service, a ‘team’ is often formed to ensure that each piece of the child’s life-puzzle is working towards the same goals. When done properly, this can really fast-track certain interventions. The team can communicate via group email, and meet up in person when needed. This can seem a little over-the-top for some families, and it is up to the parents as to how the different parties communicate with each other.

At Kahlon Family Services, we believe in relationship-based interventions. As with a lot of professionals in the field, our goal is to work with parents and schools, to create a consistent environment for the child. By having everyone on the same page with behavior plans, incentive systems and consistent use of language, we have seen children’s development come ahead in leaps and bounds. Another way we encourage behavioral Early Intervention is through school support, in the form of shadowing. A shadow’s job is to help a child successfully attend school, meeting the child where they are ‘at’ and aiming towards behavioral modifications that would see the child attend school independently.

If you find yourself wondering if your child is developmentally different, we encourage you to listen to your parental intuition and contact a professional. It takes courage to accept that your child may face unexpected challenges, but remember, you can give them the very best chance at life through Early Intervention.