Finishing the School Year

Going from one grade to another is a big step for all kids, especially those with special needs. Since routine is so important to people with Autism, there is no doubt that the long summer break and stepping up to the next grade is stressful. As a parent, you can't change the seasonal flow of life to fit your child's comfort level, but you can focus on finishing the school year well and setting your child up for success until Fall.

(1) Get an accurate/honest assessment from your child's classroom teacher about how they're doing in class (and socially on the playground)

Some teachers feel shy about telling parents what their child is struggling with, especially at the end of the school year. Tell your child's teacher that you can handle it, and would like to know an honest report of their strengths and weaknesses so that you can prepare the child's next teacher. This is particularly pertinent if you are changing schools, but even when you are staying at the same school, it is good for you to communicate directly with teachers. You are your child's biggest advocate, but also remember, teachers are professionals and even when speaking with them directly - be respectful! Getting off on the wrong foot with your child's new teacher can effect your child's relationship with the teacher, and their education.

(2) Make a big calendar of what the next few months look like

If you have the space, make a big calendar of June, July & August and post them on a wall in your house. Write on the calendar what is happening - when does school finish? When does school go back? When is summer camp? When are you going on vacation? If your child isn't able to read yet, use visual symbols and explain what they mean. At some point every day, go over this calendar together.

(3) Make closure concrete by having your child write cards/give gifts

Prepare your child with a gift for the teacher, and something small for all the kids. Use the last weekend of the school year to sit down and write something that your child appreciates about each classmate on a little card. If writing fatigues your child, write it yourself with their ideas. This ritual will help your child realize that the year is ending and things are changing. Making a ritual of closure can help more than you know.

(4) Weave some kind of routine into every summer day 

No matter what happens over your summer, make "bookends". This means that you keep the start and the end the same. Maybe you wake up with a certain song and have the same breakfast every day, and go to bed with a different song and a certain ritual. No matter where in the world you find yourself, keep some familiar routines!

Good luck with the end of the school year from all of us at Kahlon Family Services.
xx

Limiting Distraction

If a member of your family is on the Autism Spectrum, you will know what a hard time they have with keeping their attention on the right thing at the right time. Whether your child is at school, at home, or out in the community, there are ways to limit the distractions they face. After all, by limiting distractions, you're setting your child up for success.

(1) Expect eye contact
In every context, you should expect your child to make eye contact when given a direction. This may be hard for kids with Autism, but not impossible. Eye contact might be uncomfortable and take a lot of effort, but this is a life skill that will help teach kids how to pay attention.

(2) Invest in noise canceling headphones
Noise canceling headphones can be fancy (electronic, with white noise etc.) or basic. Having a pair on hand will be helpful for situations where you can't control how noisy the environment will become. Have some at home, and some in your backpack when you're out and about.

(3) Create a calm homework environment
Think about where your child is expected to do homework - is it calm? Calm environments are not cluttered, are free from the temptations of electronic devices/screens, as quiet as possible, and away from toys. You can also purchase or make "office spaces" with cardboard visual barriers that help kids look only at the work in front of them. It may seem odd to restrict what your child can see, but these barriers can really help with productivity and independence.

(4) Pause for instructions
If you have something you need to tell your child, but they are watching TV, playing on the iPad or on the computer - have them pause. Do not expect your child to pay attention to what you're saying while they are watching and listening to something else. To be honest, your "boring" instruction of "Dinner's ready!" or "Take out the garbage!" is less interesting than Minecraft. Ask your child to pause, make eye contact, listen to the instruction and... repeat!

(5) Repeat!
Once you have said your instruction, with your child making eye contact, ask him to repeat it back to you. This is another opportunity to see if (a) He heard what you said, and (b) He understands what's being asked of him.

Countdown to Summer Camp!

The weather is certainly heating up in San Francisco this week, reminding us that summer is well and truly on its way! With only a couple of weeks left until our summer camp kicks off, we're going to give you three excellent reasons to sign your child up for the KFS camp:

(1) We can handle unexpected behaviors 
Chances are, if you're reading this blog, you have a child who has some difficult behaviors. When you drop your kids off at a regular summer camp, it's normal to be nervous about how the staff will deal with your child's behavior. Our camp is staffed by behavior specialists - we will not only "handle" the behaviors, we will specifically work on modifying them into productive choices.

(2) You need a break
You don't need to stress out over your child possibly being kicked out of camp due to behavioral reasons. Obviously we take our campers' safety very seriously, but apart from safety issues, we will take care of behaviors and communicate honestly with you. This leaves you, the parent, to enjoy a few carefree hours each day.

(3) We still have space for more campers!
Many San Franciscan summer camps are no longer open for registration - but we are! While we prefer that you sign up ASAP, you're welcome to sign up at the last minute if you have other plans fall through or you have a sudden epiphany that your child simply must attend our camp.  

If you're still not convinced, camp is located on California St (right near Laurel Village) within a block of a Starbucks. Here's to yet another chance for you to get some downtime this summer! For registration information, email info@kahlonfamilyservices.com TODAY!

Self Care

Parents, we implore you to take some time out for yourself.
We know you're thinking about how unrealistic this may seem, but let's talk about some really good reasons why you need to get out and have some parts of your life that don't involve your kids.

(1) Exercise
Making time to move your body won't only effect the parts of yourself that we can see, it will help change the parts of you that can't be seen. Taking time out (by yourself and for yourself) to spend time in the outdoors will work wonders for you, giving you space to think about life as a whole instead of being caught up in the anxiety of each tiny moment.

(2) Making Healthy Food
By nature, food promotes community. A meal brings people together, nourishing bodies and souls at the same time. Food preparation, however, can be done solo - and some people find the process restorative. While your kids are at school, or during the evening after they go to bed, make some time to prepare some healthy treats, or meals in advance. Preparing meals and snacks in advance will free up your afternoon schedule in order to spend more quality time with your kids.

(3) Quiet Time
When you have kids, you basically sign away the rights to any kind of silence for the next 18 years. At any given time, your kids are probably trying to pull your attention in 10 different directions at once through crying, yelling, constantly talking about one very specific topic, following you everywhere or begging you for the iPad. Grab 10 minutes during every day when your kids are at school (or otherwise engaged) and just listen to nothing. No music, no cellphones... just listen to your thoughts and your heartbeat. Use this time to recalibrate your expectations of yourself, your day, your kids, your job, your partner, your family as a whole etc. Think "big picture" - choose to choose your battles.

(4) Adult Time
We can't stress this one enough! Go on a date night with your spouse, or get out on the town with some friends. There's one rule: You can't talk about your kids. Nope. Not even a little bit. Even though your children are your favorite things in the world, you'll benefit greatly from separating yourself for a few hours and just being yourself. Do something you haven't been able to do for years - stay out past midnight, eat at a restaurant with white tablecloths, go see a movie with swear words in it, sit atop a vista point and watch the city lights. This is your time.

You might feel selfish for taking time out when your kids have special needs.  Trust us on this one - you'll be a better parent when you have some time to breathe.  If you have a hard time finding or keeping babysitters because of your child's behavioral needs, remember that at Kahlon Family Services we offer Respite as part of a long list of things we do. If you are interested in our respite services, contact us on info@kahlonfamilyservices.com