Homework Help

Do you have trouble with your kids and homework? Are you at a loss as to how to help, or having difficulty knowing what a fair expectation for homework should be?

We have some tips for you, to make homework less of a battle. 

• Establish a consistent homework routine
• Make a work space - give your child their own space to work.
• What time does homework start and stop? It is much easier to stay focused when there is a time limit. Try using a timer, and pausing if your child gets off-track. You could also use the timer to establish how long s/he should work until s/he gets a break. ("Time Timer" App is $2.99, and is perfect for young children & time management.)
• Will there be a computer available? Does your child have everything they need in their work space? Also, if a computer is available, be sure to check in with your child to make sure that it is a help rather than a distraction.

• Remember, homework is key in developing;
• Time management - how will your child meet deadlines? Are you allowing your child to work within the pressure of a deadline, or are you bailing them out by doing their work? Many parents also write notes to teachers to have their child exempt from meeting deadlines. How are you setting your child up for the "real world"?
• Work ethic - homework teaches your child to work hard, even after hours. People with a strong work ethic are much more employable than those who work half-heartedly.
• Problem solving strategies - when your child doesn't have a teacher at hand, how will they learn to use their initiative to get things done?

• Set time aside to help each child get started. Learn to tell the difference between laziness, attention problems and a lack of understanding. If you feel like your child is struggling more than s/he should be, set up a time to talk to the classroom teacher about your concerns. Productivity is related to motivation, realistic expectations and ability.

• Be prepared to help your child in the time set aside for homework. If you can’t help them, organize another time to do it. If your child asks for help, provide them with a consistent response.

Parenting With Confidence Workshop

Do you have a strong-willed child?
Is your child "difficult"?
Are you having trouble connecting with your children, or as a family?
Are you feeling frustrated with the way things are?

We have a course for you.

"Parenting With Confidence" is a 6-week course in San Francisco for parents wanting to learn more about building stronger family connections. The course covers topics such as;

•  Dealing with meltdowns
• Communication
• Juggling family dynamics and schedules
• Building the parent-child connection

Pricing

The full 6-week package costs $175 per parent, $225 for both parents - or $35 per parent for casual attendees. 

Location

Westside Art House

540 Balboa St, San Francisco 

Day & Time

Wednesday nights 6-7PM, starting 27 February (date subject to change) 

The Early Signs of Autism

It can be extremely difficult for parents to hear that their child is developing differently. Part of giving your child the best possible start in life is being able to pay attention to red flags that may indicate developmental delays, such as Autism. While an accurate diagnosis of Autism can not be made yet in infancy, there have been various studies conducted into signs and behaviors that correlate to later diagnoses of Autism Spectrum Disorders.

ABC News reported in May last year about 'Head Lag' being an early sign of Autism - and can be seen very early on. Click here  to be linked to their site, where you can watch the full report. We have pooled together some more developmental milestones to keep track of with infants and young children, so that if you are noticing any delays, they can be seen to as soon as possible. There's a big chance that what you're noticing isn't Autism, but if you have suspicions about your child's development please don't ignore them. The best chance you can give a child with Autism is an early intervention.

6 months...
- An absence of big, warm smiles and joyful expressions

9 months...
-  An absence of back and forth sharing of sounds, smiling and other facial expressions

12 months...
- An absence of babbling, back & forth gestures (pointing, smiling, showing, reaching, waving)
- Doesn't respond to name

16 months...
- Doesn't speak any words

24 months...
- Doesn't use any two-word phrases (not including repeating)

OVER 3 Years...

• Doesn't seem to care what is going on around them socially, but pays attention to the movement of physical objects (e.g. Doors, fans, etc.) 
• Doesn't play pretend, and has significant trouble distinguishing between "real" and "fake"
• Doesn't share interests or achievements with peers
• Doesn't know how to play with peers, join in or understand other people's feelings
• Speaks in an atypical tone of voice with odd pitch and pace 
• Limited interests with one particular fixation that dominates all conversation
• Repeats words and phrases
• Takes everything literally
• Hand flapping
• Frequent and severe meltdowns over things that often make no sense to you
• Has sensory sensitivities; covers ears at loud noises, uses a very loud voice (and has a hard time knowing how to speak in a quieter voice), dislikes bright lighting, lays on the floor at inappropriate times, spins repeatedly, "crashes" frequently (running into people, falling over on purpose, falling off chairs, jumping off high places), alternately - is fearful of physical activity, uncoordinated, frequently falls over, is clumsy, chews on shirts/sleeves/other items, is either very messy or very clean, prone to hyperactivity due to overstimulation

If any of these things have raised red flags about your child, or somebody you know, the very best thing you can do is see a professional who can help steer you in the right direction towards early intervention. At Kahlon Family Services, we can not diagnose a child, but we can work alongside your family and other professionals (like Occupational, Speech and Physical Therapists) to see change. Whatever the age of the child, we can help. 

Visit our website on www.kahlonfamilyservices.com

Animals & Autism - Part 2 - Buttercup

Lois & Buttercup 

For part 2 of our series on Animals & Autism, we were lucky enough to have interviewed renowned Speech-Language Pathologist, Lois Brady, about her experiences in Animal Assisted therapy with her pig, Buttercup. 

Tell us a bit about how you met your pig, Buttercup. 
Because Buttercup has to travel with me, he has to be a true miniature potbelly pig.  I searched the internet for reputable breeders and flew him to California from Texas.  He was a hit from the time we picked him up from the airport.

How have you seen Buttercup impact children with Autism? 
Many students are naturally drawn to animals.  Some students with autism may have had a bad experience with a dog/cat (barking, scratching or jumping).  Because Buttercup is so unusual he draws their attention immediately and they have no preconceived notions or bad experiences students approach him and interact with him freely.   Many of my students ask for Buttercup and talk about him daily.  They remember his last visit, next visit, what he eats, where he lives, etc.

Have you seen changes in Buttercup since he started to work with you?
Buttercup has worked with children since he was 4 weeks old.  His demeanor is the same in a quiet or noisy environment.  He has always been a "rock." 
What does Buttercup like to do in his time off? 
Buttercup loves to sleep, lay in the sun, root, eat (of course) and sit by the fireplace on a cold day.

What is one of your favorite 'Buttercup Stories'? 
 My favorite story - Buttercup was visiting my high school Asperger's classroom.  Many of the students have difficulty making new friends, especially friends of the opposite sex.  On this particular day I encouraged one young man (Isaac) to take buttercup for a walk during passing period.  He was immediately surrounded by students (mostly girls) asking lots of questions.  Isaac had no choice but to talk to the girls and answer questions about Buttercup.  He made two new "girl" friends that day.

For more information about Lois and Buttercup, check out this article from Reader's Digest and the Proactive Speech Therapy Website.

If you are interested in how we use animals in our sessions at Kahlon Family Services, please contact us on info@kahlonfamilyservices.com

Animals & Autism: Part 1

Temple Grandin: Animals Make Us Human

For centuries, animals and humans have shared a special bond. Often it depends on what kind of animal we are referring to - most people associate animal bonding only with domesticated pets. Temple Grandin changed the face of animal welfare through a deep affinity for cattle, attempting to understand their behavior on another level. You see, Temple Grandin is Autistic and can uniquely relate to the sensory sensitivities of animals, which are more closely linked to the human experience than we realize. Though most city dwelling San Franciscans have limited access to cattle, at Kahlon Family Services we have discovered the benefits of using animals in our sessions for their excellent company and therapeutic benefits. We will be bringing you Part 2 of this series soon - about a therapeutic pig! (Stay tuned)

You may have read a previous blog post about Danny (click here to read the heart-warming tale) the adventurous Dachshund and his work with children on the Autism Spectrum. Animals provide a way for people with Autism to experience a less complicated version of social interaction, while learning about the living world around them. A 2004 study showed that assistance dogs could help Autistic children learn about living beings, feelings and needs (USA Today.com). In 2010, a study from a journal called Psychoneuroendocrinology stated that service dogs actually have a physiological effect on children with Autism. The introduction of service dogs significantly reduced the stress levels of the child, and simultaneously reduced the amount of disruptive behavioral episodes. 

We have seen these effects first-hand in our sessions with Danny, and our other pal, Jake. Our dogs have a way of making children with social differences feel welcome. We have seen the dogs act in embarrassing ways, and the kids deal with them in love. For example, one day Jake ate some unidentified old dog poop as one of our young (socially different) clients was walking him down the street. At first, everybody freaked out because we all know that dogs shouldn't do that. Then, a teachable moment was upon us. Do we still love Jake when he acts like that? Will we still be Jake's friend? Should we just let Jake eat poop if he wants to? Or should we let him know it's not a great choice and help him to make better choices? That day, the young boy could see why people were "always telling him what to do". He could see for the first time that when people were telling him how to act, it was out of love rather than bossiness. The boy was also quick to help Jake out the embarrassing situation, and could appreciate that others help him act appropriately when he does things out of the social ordinary. 

At Kahlon Family Services, we do not use well-mannered service dogs. We use family pets - humble dogs rescued from the pound. We work with dogs who have been through a lot, and their back stories really engage with the lives of kids with behavioral problems. These dogs teach empathy, forgiveness, unconditional love, patience and endurance. The dogs calm us down, and bring something extra to the emotional environment in our sessions. If you think that your child could benefit from sessions with a behavior specialist and a dog, please contact us so that we can match you with the perfect fit. You can email info@kahlonfamilyservices.com or visit our website www.kahlonfamilyservices.com for more details. 

Stress Less (Part 3) - Feeding Your Soul

fun

  [fuhn]  Show IPA

noun

1.

something that provides mirth or amusement: A picnic would be fun.

2.

enjoyment or playfulness: She's full of fun.

ad·ven·ture

  [ad-ven-cher]  Show IPA noun, verb,ad·ven·tured, ad·ven·tur·ing.

noun

1.

an exciting or very unusual experience.

2.

participation in exciting undertakings or enterprises: the spirit of adventure.

3.

a bold, usually risky undertaking; hazardous action of uncertain outcome.

hob·by

¹  [hob-ee]  Show IPA

noun, plural hob·bies.

1.

an activity or interest pursued for pleasure or relaxation and not as a mainoccupation: Her hobbies include stamp-collecting and woodcarving.

(We thought we'd start off this post with a few words you may have forgotten about. Please revise these terms/commit them to memory.)

When was the last time you had fun? Did you know you can actually work playfulness into your everyday life - with your kids in tow? If you think the only way you can (personally) enjoy life is when the kids are asleep/with someone else, think again! Maybe it is just time for a paradigm shift.

What feeds your soul?

As a parent, your life is now totally about the well-being of others. It has been said that people can not give away that which they do not possess. Therefore, without having time for yourself you are unlikely to have stores of calm, patient niceties to give to others. Your anxiety, your mood and your attitude affect your entire household. If you want to raise kids who see life as an adventure, yet you model the constant, never-ending drudgery of the daily grind - you will probably not be too successful in your goal. You don't need circumstances to change before you change. Your days may be packed to the rafters with activity, work and errands. Your days may be so similar that they all seem to meld into one boring weekly snowball. You may think that adulthood stripped you of the ability to have fun.

Life doesn't have to be monochrome. Let's add some color!

(1) Take up a hobby.

You don't necessarily need tons of time or money to have a hobby. You just need to choose a sensible hobby for you lifestyle. If you're an office-bound CEO and you decide your hobby is storm-chasing, it's probably not a great match time/availability-wise. (But if you can do it on the weekends, go for it. It's your life.) Joining an interest group is not always realistic (time-wise) when you have young (or special needs) children, but the internet has endless forums that act like interest groups for your hobby. Taking photos, making things, hiking, playing board games, baking - these are all hobbies that can be done individually or as a family. Think of something you like.

(2) Find ways to make boring things fun. 

You've seen Mary Poppins! While her ability to sing and have the toys put themselves away may be far from your skill set, she showed us all that, "In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun. You find the fun... and snap! The job's a game!" If you make an effort to add fun to tasks, you may find your kids more willing to participate. Try making pack-up time into a game, by adding a song. You could play a song aloud from your phone (the same song each time for an auditory cue) and the game is, "Let's see if we can pack everything away by the time the song is over." Of course, you may need to add boundaries like, "The song will be paused if you're not helping. I will only play the song if you are packing up." You could also try making up songs with your kids about the items on the shopping list, errands that you're running or your to-do list. You have permission to be playful! Making up funny rhymes will make your kids laugh, and will also help them understand the form of narrative. You can actually make your kids smarter by being silly with them.

(3) Get out of the house. 

You don't need tons of money or time to get out of the house, either! If you usually drive from A-B, take the kids on a bus or train from time to time. You have no idea how much it means to a child to have a wide range of different experiences. Go to the beach and write in the sand. Climb a hill. Visit a museum. Visit friends and relatives. Go to a coffee shop and reconnect - sometimes we even see parents with kids (usually over 5 yrs old) at coffee shops, doing their own thing and teaching their kids to do their own thing too. Bring an iPod, a coloring book, a picture book, a game - you can have time with your child and with your own brain. Life is about balance - spend uninterrupted personal time with your kids, then feel free to show them that you can love them with or without conversation.

If you find your life seeming like that movie Groundhog Day, make an effort to restore the adventure that life brings. Be the parent that you want to be, not the parent that you think you should be. 

Stress Less - (Part 2) Time Management

If you are stressed out, ask yourself about how you're managing your time. Do you ever sit down and take inventory of how you spend your days? What do you fill them with?

Make a Time Budget 
The first step in successful financial budgeting is to spend time figuring out where your money is going. Money and time are more alike than we care to realize - unless you're a bazillionaire, there is probably a limit on your finance, and we all know even the most leisurely of people only have 24 hours in a day. Time is a limited resource: Spend some of it figuring out where you're spending the rest of it.

To make a time budget, for the next week write down everything you do and how long you spend doing it. Keep track of it in your phone or a notebook in your purse or something. Take a good look at how you are using your time - does it reflect your priorities? Do you even know what your priorities are - as a wife/husband/partner/parent/family? When you have kids, your priorities cease to be exclusively your own. Maybe you could sit down with your spouse, or call a family meeting to come up with a list of what is truly important and how you can all use your time to reflect where you're going as a family.

Carve out time for yourself 
As a parent, you probably feel guilty taking time for yourself. With a time budget you can factor in time every day for some solitude - think outside the box! If you are a stay-at-home parent, learn to put down the laundry basket for 15 minutes and grab a cup of coffee while the kids are at school. Maybe you could schedule in a walk every day - with a dual purpose of getting exercise and clearing your head. If you are a working parent, take advantage of the commute to and from work. Whether you are in the car or public transit, learn to "switch off" and enjoy the solitude rather than complain about the traffic. There are little windows in every day, if you just look for them! Sometimes they may be as simple as going to the bathroom without a toddler following behind you. Whatever they are, own them!

Learn to say, "No"
Have you guys seen that movie Yes Man? The concept behind it is a club of people who have to say YES to every opportunity that comes their way. At first, it is terrifying. Then it becomes really liberating, and the characters realize that they are introduced to a whole world of possibilities when they step out of their comfort zone. Until finally (spoiler alert!) the characters realize that when they are bound to saying YES, they become worn out. Moral of the story? Everything in moderation. You may find happiness in saying YES to some things, but saying YES to everything is not likely to be beneficial to yourself - and especially your role as a parent. What is more important? Pleasing "people" or raising your kids with your full attention? Take inventory of your commitments - are you over committed? Are you under committed? Are you spending your time on things that reflect your family's priorities?

Schedule in down time 
Is your life one activity to the next? Do you find yourself ferrying kids all over town every day after school? No wonder you're stressed out! Chances are, your kids are probably pretty stressed out too. Take a look at your time budget, and have a think about your kids' time budgets. Are you all doing too much? Do you ever have time to come home, kick off your shoes and relax? Maybe you should try it sometime! Do you have time to spend with your kids making dinner, going for a walk, gardening or baking? Constant scheduled activity is a danger of modern urban life. Try and develop a home-life. You might just find it helps you to slow down and simplify.

Think about where your time is going. Manage it. And stress less.