Respite vs. Babysitting

All parents need to take breaks. We tell our kids to 'take a break', so we need to practice what we preach and take some time out for ourselves. When it comes to leaving your children in the care of others, most parents have a hard time finding (and keeping) babysitters around. By adding a special needs child into the mix, the struggle to find a babysitter intensifies exponentially. At Kahlon Family Services, we provide 'respite' care for parents whose children have developmental delays, behavioral differences or any other type of special need.

You may have heard the term 'respite' before, in the context of caring for people who have quite severe disabilities. While this term is probably thrown around a lot more in these situations, we would like to help you broaden this definition. Technically, 'respite' means, "A short period of rest from something that is difficult." We don't mean to say that your child is difficult, but if you're honest you'll agree that parenting a special needs child is actually quite difficult.

At Kahlon Family Services, we offer care under the term 'respite' because we feel that our staff are able to provide your family with not only childcare, but peace of mind. On the nights where you need to be at a meeting, or when you'd like to go on a date, or to a party - you can leave your children with a behavior specialist who is prepared for your family's unique challenges. On the days during school breaks where you need someone to watch your child, or you need a weekend off - we have it covered.

For more information about respite, or to schedule a consultation with a specialist, please contact us at info@kahlonfamilyservices.com

School Shadowing

Kahlon Family Services provides ‘shadows’ to people of all ages requiring extra help towards independence. ‘Shadowing’ is a relationship-based behavioral intervention. For children, a shadow refers to a Behavior Specialist assisting a child at school by first observing, taking data and consulting with the child’s family and teacher, wherein the specialist highlights areas of concern and develops a plan for behavior modification. 

The shadow helps the child on a daily basis, first by building rapport with the child and his/her family. The shadow then begins by meeting the child where he/she is 'at'. The next step is challenging the child to develop further self-sufficiency, through open communication and incentive tools. The goal of a shadow is to assist the child without hovering or embarrassing them, while making discrete modifications to their behavior and classroom environment in order to set the child up for success. Oftentimes, the shadow will act as though they are an extra teacher in the classroom so that nobody knows which child is requiring extra help, to protect the child’s privacy. The ultimate goal of shadowing is that the child will reach full independence at school, with a greater awareness of how to self regulate.

Kahlon Family Services also offers shadows to very young children in Early Childhood settings, as well adults with disabilities in the work environment, with similar (but developmentally-appropriate) goals.

How do you know if your child would benefit from a ‘shadow’?
- Has your child’s teacher mentioned that your son/daughter ‘checks out’ regularly in class, and therefore, has great difficulty completing tasks?
- Does your child struggle with sensory integration or an attention deficit?
- Does your child have difficulty with executive function, fine motor skills, impulsivity, following instructions or being part of a group?
- Is your child ‘acting out’ and being sent away from group/educational activities because of behavioral issues? Is he/she ‘in trouble’ most of the time, and missing out on vital learning?
- Has your child’s school mentioned that without extra assistance, your child may be excluded because of behavioral issues or special needs that they can not reasonably accommodate?

If it has been suggested that your child receive extra help, or if you feel as though his/her educational future is jeopardized by any of the above issues, we can help you. Please contact us for a consultation, on kahlonfamilyservices@gmail.com 

Our Services

YEAS (Yoga Education for Autism Spectrum) 

YEAS is a program developed by the founder of Kahlon Family Services (Vanessa Kahlon) and is built on a combination of yoga and behavior management strategies. We offer individual or group yoga sessions for all children, including those with special needs. KFS recognizes and appreciates each individual's unique needs with customized programs, created to fully engage each participant in our unique children's yoga program. YEAS sessions can be done in the comfort of your own home or at a convenient studio.

Shadowing

Kahlon Family Services also provides 'shadows' to people of all ages requiring extra help towards independence. 'Shadowing' is a behavioral intervention. For children, a shadow refers to a Behavior Specialist assisting a child at school by first observing, taking data and consulting with the child's family and teacher, wherein the specialist can highlight areas of concern and develop a plan for behavior modification. The shadow then helps the child on a daily basis - first building rapport while meeting them where they are at - then challenging the child to develop further self-sufficiency. The goal of a shadow is to assist the child without hovering or embarrassing them, while making discrete modifications to their behavior and classroom environment to set the child up for success. 

Respite

At Kahlon Family Services, we also offer respite for families with special needs children. Being trained in behaviors and developmental differences, our specialists can consult with you about your child before care begins. A big advantage of having a specialist providing respite (compared to using a mainstream babysitter) is that the specialist understands that your child will be unique and possibly challenging, yet coming at the situation with a toolbox of techniques to not only provide quality care to your child, but also have a good time.

School Consultations

 When teachers or directors feel that something in the classroom is not quite right they may choose to call us for a consultation. School consultations can be observations on a specific child, teaching teams or a classroom as a whole unit. The consultant comes out to the school, takes notes and submits a report containing observations, statistics and suggestions. 

Behavioral Consultations

When your kids have special needs or behavioral challenges, what seems like an everyday task can sometimes feel like mission impossible. We are passionate about helping families find joy in being together, despite the obstacles that may stand in their way. We help strengthen families by providing services that include Behavioral Consultations. The consultant makes suggestions and develops a plan of action from a toolbox of methods that they have been trained in, or previously seen evidence-based success in. At KFS, everything we do is relationship-based and individualized.

YEAS Teacher Training

Vanessa Kahlon also runs weekend courses to certify participants in becoming a YEAS teacher. Typically, a host has a group of people that would like training and from there the session can be advertised to the public, or kept private if there are enough participants. The training is based on yoga and behavior strategies, with plenty of opportunity to work in groups, explore new ideas and move your body. 

Parenting Workshops 

The course covers topics, such as;

• Communication
• Quality time
• Dealing with meltdowns, and
• Building the parent-child bond

Each session will involve practical content developed by Behavior Specialists, fresh ideas, strategies and challenges. There will also be time for questions, comments and discussion.

Social Skills

We conduct one-to-one sessions with individual students out in the community, where we spend time observing life as it happens and teaching vital skills that are relevant to the child's daily context. A general session involves capturing naturally teachable moments, such as:

• how to independently order and pay at a café
• how to cope with unexpected moments
• using appropriate voice level modulation for the situation
• how to express opinions in a way that doesn't offend others
• participation in conversation that involves/is interesting to everyone in the group and is back and forth

If we have the right combination of kids, we also run social groups. Contact us on info@kahlonfamilyservices.com for more information. 

New Year Challenge: Top 5 Reasons to Keep Less Toys

After the holidays, your house is probably groaning with your children's recent haul of new toys. Looking around your house right now, I wonder if you can spot some items that your kids have pushed to the wayside well before holiday season? If you can, you're in good company. Most families have so many more toys than they need. It's high time you gave some of them away.


TOP 5 REASONS TO KEEP LESS TOYS

(1) You need less than you have
In our society, we often become preoccupied with things we think we should have - instead of focusing on the things we already possess. When it comes down to the wire, do you really need more things? I wonder if you wrote down all of the "things" you bought in a month, if you would regret some of the purchases? The sooner you can live with less, the sooner you can promote these values to your kids at a young age.

(2) Decreases mess
When you have a lot of toys around the house, they tend to make a huge mess! While we all try to adhere to the rule of kids packing up toys after playing with them, sometimes we run out of time and by the weekend the house is a disaster. Kids with too many toys often don't take proper care of their belongings and lose interest in broken things. If you keep discovering your children's toys spread all around the house, maybe they need fewer toys?

(3) Promote generosity, not materialism
Why don't you gather up your extra toys and donate them to children less fortunate? Instead of teaching your kids to hoard items, there are so many reasons to show them how to be generous. There are probably a number of perfectly good toys that your children have outgrown that you can give away to a charity near you. You have the opportunity to teach your children some valuable life lessons surrounding their favorite possessions - toys!

(4) Boost creativity
If you buy your child every toy that they want, you are not allowing them the opportunity to be creative. When you buy a Barbie swimming pool, your child may never learn how to make-do with a bowl. With a Buzz Lightyear outfit, your child may not have the opportunity to paint cereal boxes and string them to their bodies as jet-packs! If you buy your child a new bike for no reason, they won't discover the creative process of negotiating ways to earn money for themselves. All of these creative lessons bring about life skills that develop children into smart, functional adults.

(5) Start the year fresh 
Starting the year with an organized home environment can do wonders for your family. While most people don't commit to New Years resolutions, this is something that you can do once at the start of every year and repeat it a few months later if you like.

Are you up for the challenge?

Holiday Party Success

If you have children with sensory sensitivities, attending holiday parties can be a nightmare. Amidst the flashing lights of Christmas trees, burning flames on a Chanukiah, crowded rooms and festive singing, you may find that your child is completely overstimulated - and you are completely stressed out. On top of it all, you will probably be surrounded by long lost relatives who have no idea about Sensory Processing Disorder.

How will you survive the season, while saving face when it comes to the burning stares of your family?

(1) Keep it short and sweet
How long do you expect your child to keep it together? Figure out the 'base line' when it comes to your child's behavior - if he tends to melt down after 45 minutes at a play date or a party, consider only keeping him in those kinds of situations for 45 minutes. Aim to leave on a good note! It's better to leave and have people wonder why your child needed to go, rather than stay and have them realize why you should've left.

(2) Provide breaks
When you see that your child's behavior is escalating, try taking him away from the crowd for some quiet time. Maybe he needs to blow off some steam and run laps, maybe he needs some core-engaging stretches, or maybe he would benefit from curling up with a book and a cuddle. You know your own kids, watch their actions and be attentive to how you can help set them up for success.

(3) Keep the main thing, the main thing. 
Think about this: What is the most important part of this party? When you figure it out, you will know how far you should push your sensory-sensitive child to engage with the event. If the "main thing" is dinner, practice table manners ahead of time and lay out the exact expectations for your child. If the "main thing" is spending time with family members, prompt your child with ways in which she can connect with particular people. (Keep your expectations realistic - a 7yo child won't naturally have a lot to say to a Great Grandma she has never met.)

(4) Be aware of triggers 
What are your child's triggers? If loud environments trigger behaviors, how can you limit your child's exposure to overstimulating volumes? If you can't control the time frame, be prepared to supervise him closely and act as his "external regulator". If you see that he is becoming disregulated, take him away for a break and return when he is calm. Knowing your child's triggers is the best strategy towards preventing undesirable behaviors.

(5) Awareness
This might be awkward, but have you tried explaining Sensory Integration to your family? They might not understand why you are so vigilant with your child's environment and behavior, and may think that some of your strategies are weird. If you are able to tell more of your network about your child's differences, you may find that they start to accept your child's differences and treat situations with more thoughtfulness.

Happy Holidays from all of us at Kahlon Family Services!

This is boring.

Boredom is something that most of us feel on a daily basis. Nobody enjoys being bored, and very few people embrace it. With the rise of smart phones, we adults rarely allow ourselves to be bored. There is always something to check, something to learn, a status update to like, a picture to snap - the list goes on and on. With all of these 'fillers', we wonder what the next generation will learn about boredom? Will they learn to fill all of their downtime with screens?

We think that boredom can be a very good thing. Kids are having more screen time now than ever before, and while there are some great sanity-saving benefits, screens might be doing more harm than good. We constantly meet parents whose children have become addicted to their iPads, which have created a lot of negative and obsessive behaviors. Constant screen time is also associated with antisocial behaviors, as we know in adulthood, relates to the feeling that people aren't truly present in life if they are always on their phones.

Maybe we need some good ole' fashioned boredom!

What boredom teaches kids:

(1) Creativity
When you allow your children to experience boredom, they will learn to fill their time with other activities. Can your kids entertain themselves with limited resources? Why don't you try naming all 50 states. Can they make a game out of nothing? Why don't you try finding everything in the room that starts with 'S'. While waiting for food at a restaurant, are they kept amused by paper and a pen? Have you heard of the game called dots? Click here for an online example, but you can literally play this with a pen and a napkin. While you wait in line at the airport security check-in, why don't you play the hat game? All you need to do is take turns coming up with all the different types of hats you can think of. We'll start you off - baseball cap, beanie, fez, yarmulke, visor... your turn!

(2) Self Control
Exposing your children to boring situations from a young age teaches them that the world doesn't revolve around their comfort. Sometimes we think that we have to thrust an iPad into the hand of a whining child the minute some kind of boring or lengthy situation occurs. Yes, it's far easier to keep them amused with screens, but you may be creating a rod for your own back. What will happen the day the battery is flat, or you get an important call while your child is playing Minecraft on your phone?

(3) Problem Solving
Problem: This trip to Great Aunt Mildred's house isn't fun because there's "nothing to do". Solution: Find something to do. If you keep solving problems for your children, they won't know how to be resilient. While fixing their kid-sized problems now feels like the easiest way to stay sane, as they grow their problems grow with them. Are you preparing your children for real life?

(4) Patience
A couple of weeks ago, we blogged about curbing childhood impulsivity. Despite the special needs that your child may face, you are still able to teach them to be patient. Nothing of worth ever comes quickly or easily, so let this liberate you towards directly teaching your child patience. It may feel mean, but consider the long-term goals.

This week, think of some ways in which you can create some strategically boring situations for your children and encourage their creativity!

Yes, No, Maybe : Choosing Your Battles

Raising children is the hardest job in the world. Most parents would agree that it would be easier if we had a playbook of definitive rules, instead of a myriad of possibilities. There are so many tiny choices imbedded in everyday life and we all wonder if one wrong decision will deeply impact our children. But then again, we are bombarded with magazines, blogs and professionals who confuse our sensibilities of 'right' and 'wrong' parenting ideals - if such concepts even exist.

While running the risk of completely ironically telling you how to parent your children, we have a few tips when it comes to choosing your battles. Some days you can face a screamfest head-on, other days you simply could not be bothered.


(1) While we recognize that consistency is key to daily parenting life, we'd like to really honestly admit that we aren't consistent all the time. In fact, nobody is. The core of consistency is giving your child an expectation of how to behave in certain contexts. There are always exceptions to the rules - routine changes, sickness, tiredness, special occasions to name a few. Be as consistent as possible, but model the same kind of mental flexibility you would hope your children to be able to employ.

(2) Instead of saying, "No," all the time, try saying, "Yes." How? At first, restrict the things that your child is allowed to do, and then open up further privileges and possibilities once she proves that she can cope with the responsibility. For example, keep an earlier bedtime for a child until they can function on less sleep and still get everything they need done (e.g. Homework, chores etc.) It is so much more liberating and dignified to be able to grant your child access to things they would like, instead of taking away privileges you have given to them too early on.

(3) When your child asks you for something, ask yourself, "Will this affect the future?" This might seem like an intense question, but it will help you decide when to say yes, no or maybe. Sometimes, the first time you permit an activity, you are starting something that you will later regret. Maybe you can relate with that first soda you let your child drink, that