Quiet Hands

The Wooden Puzzle Fidget

This post is for parents and teachers who are driven crazy with children who are constantly tapping, poking and touching. For those of you on the edge of insanity, we have a few ideas to help keep their hands amused... at least for a little while!

We've found that most fidgets have the capacity to drive people crazy after a while. Also, not every fidget is a good match for every kid - so we've listed our Pros & Cons for your enjoyment. All of the products have links to their website, or Amazon - just click the title.


(1) CRAZY AARON'S THINKING PUTTY

PROS: Super fun to play with, comes in a LOT of cool colors, can be magnetic, can really help some kids to pay attention while sitting for long periods of time.

CONS: If left sitting on a surface, it will "melt", so don't leave it on carpet! If you're not careful, it may stick in hair, too.


(2) THE TANGLE

PROS : Very calming, great for kids with tactile needs, very quiet, no mess.

CONS : The pieces come apart, and may be a hazard for very young children. 

(3) ISOFLEX STRESS BALL 

PROS: Very durable, attractive tie-die cover, great for hand exercise due to firm texture.

CONS: Can easily be thrown at and by kids in a classroom setting.


(4) WATER WIGGLERS

PROS: Super fun! Wet, squishy, relaxing, interesting and kind of cold to the touch.

CONS: If it breaks... water and fish everywhere.

I QUIT!

Recently, one of our behavior specialists told a story about being involved in a Third Grade class learning some new recess games. One girl, who struggles with sensory integration and an attention deficit, decided that the game was too hard and she wasn't going to play. The specialist was struck with a dilemma; these were recess games, and therefore optional. But, on the other hand, they were learning the games in class time. Every so often these situations arise, where as adults, we have to really think about where to guide these kids.

Everyone does things that they don't want to do - that is just how life goes. When you think back on your life, we're willing to bet that many of your life's successes can be traced back to an adult telling you to do something mundane or difficult that you didn't want to do. This particular specialist told the story of being a young child at a music camp - armed with a trombone and a lot of strangers, she did not want to go to the camp. In addition, her main teacher was a man with a dry sense of humor that she didn't understand, and she had trouble keeping up with the work. She went home and proclaimed, "Mom! I do not want to go back there. I quit trombone."

Did her Mom let her quit? No. Did she try to find out what the real problem was? Yes. When she established the problem, she asked her to practice that trombone until she improved. The next day, the girl went back to the camp. She was uncomfortable, but she learned to face her discomfort. Isn't that a picture of adult life, though? We've heard that most of life's successes come from just 'turning up'. Obviously you need to do more than just turn up, but first things first!

Take a step back, and look at the big picture. Asking your child to stick with something isn't about exerting your power. You're not being bossy or unreasonable. You are setting your child up for a life of productive habits, employability and committed relationships.

Interview with Leah Kalish

This week on the Spectrum, we were lucky enough to interview Leah Kalish, from Move With Me Action Adventures. Enjoy!

We love your work Leah! Tell our readers a bit about what you do.

At Move with Me Action Adventures, we are a small group of educators offering a unique integration of story + exercise + self-regulation that engages the whole child, helps prevent obesity, and improves focus, fitness, learning readiness, and social-emotional skills.  

Our mission is to support children in being physically fit, emotionally stable, and learning able by delivering affordable, and easy-to-implement, instructional active play and embodied social-emotional learning resources to teachers, care-providers, and parents.  Our movement story video programs, accompanying health / self-regulation flash cards, and comprehensive curriculum are developed with children and can be used at home, in classrooms, and in childcare settings. . 

We sell to First 5’s and other early childhood organizations, Head Starts, preschools, early elementary classrooms, childcare and daycare centers, parents, and libraries as well as lead in-person and online trainings. 

In 2013, Move with Me™ was chosen by Partnership for a Healthier America as 1 of the top 10 best ideas for ending childhood obesity (see 2 min. video!).  Our  “Adventure Skills” regularly appear in LA Times Feature about self-regulation for kids .  This year, Foundation - End Obesity Now, is ready to fund an implementation project.

How have you seen movement and mindfulness enrich the lives of preschoolers?

Movement and mindfulness activities offer a playground which develops the body-mind awareness, coordination, and control that lays the foundation for self-regulation and learning.  Physical skills, which movement & self-regulation are, empower kids because they pave the way for cognitive and emotional-emotional skills.  Usually, when I walk in,  I see kids light up.  They know that they will have fun exploring what their bodies can do and discovering what their minds and inner resources can offer.  When they experiment with the yoga, movement, and simple tools I share, and feel better, find focus, re-direct impulses, and even calm and soothe themselves, they gain a whole new level of confidence in every area of their lives.  I know enrichment is occurring when a parent tells me that their child told them to “breathe and use finesse”, or when a teacher reports that their class showed the principal how to “avoid a meltdown”.

Why did you decide to develop your business, 'Move with Me'? What got the ball rolling? 

After being Program Director for Yoga Ed., an organization that brought the yoga-based PE and classroom wellness programs I developed to schools, from 2000 – 2009, I was inspired to return to early childhood for two reasons.

One -  I wanted to do something about young children not getting the physical activity and self-regulation instruction they need for optimal weight and development.  Two – I was asked by a former trainee to help develop her wonderful movement story classes that taught yoga and Brain Gym® based health & self-care techniques into a curriculum.  I saw that by producing engaging and empowering video classes and accompanying educational materials, we could give parents and teachers expertly taught resources they could easily and affordably implement to provide much needed PE and SEL enrichment.

Since then, our Scooter & Me Movement & Mindfulness Bundle has won four awards, evolved into a 30-week curriculum, and earned the support of the Foundation – End Obesity Now.

Preschoolers are hilarious! Tell us about a funny story that has happened while working with preschoolers.

One of the first lessons I teach preschoolers is to sit tall, breathe fully, and move into their “Rainbow Body”.  This inspires good posture and vibrational coherence.  We sing a lively song about the powers of our colors –strong, happy, confident, caring, honest, smart, and understanding.  And then, like blowing a kiss, or sending an email, we can choose to send our rainbow.  We experimented with each other and discovered that if we focus our rainbow energy toward someone else, they will feel an uplifting warmth, tingle, or peacefulness.  So, we send rainbows in class when someone is crabby, or sad, or not feeling well. We also send rainbows to people we love and care about who may be far away. 

One day, the school administrator interrupted our class saying that Callie’s mother was on the phone and just felt she needed to check in.  Callie, hearing this, jumped up and said: I was sending her a rainbow!  Sometimes, when I miss her, I send her a rainbow.  That’s one powerful preschooler J

What advice would you give to teachers and parents interested in incorporating more movement and mindfulness into their children’s lives? 

Remember that developmentally, preschoolers are designed to discover who they are and to master skills through play.  So make a “special time” to play full-on with your child(ren) every day – let them choose what!  And share all the everyday activities you can with them – making the grocery list, scheduling the doctor’s appointment, washing the dishes, making the bed, cooking, etc. 

Also, prioritize your own health and well-being over your TO DO List.  If you want them to become healthy and self-regulating, you must model exercising, eating well, and behaving well.  Take time through-out the day to consciously self-regulate and at home, share what you are doing with your little ones and teach them specific techniques to help them when they are emotional, frustrated, etc.  

Examples:  

            If your child is challenged, or tired, or disappointed, invite him/her to slow down and be curious with it rather than resistant – feel where is it in the body, what color or texture it is.  Ask what s/he might do allow and shift, or offer a tool that you use.  Schedule time for self-care so that your child gets to regularly rest, reset, recharge and feel ready and able for the next activity.  

            After you’ve had a tough day, rather than being withdrawn, phony, or irritable, you could explain that you are stressed and crabby from something that happened at work so, before you play, or make dinner, or whatever,  that you need to practice some breathing or stretching, or take a walk around the block, or have 20 minutes to meditate – so that you then can be fully present.   

Why won't this work?

“We keep taking all of his toys away and nothing is working, HELP!”  

Why is it that as human beings we think that by taking things away we will get the results that we want from another person? This seems to happen in all relationships through life, but more frequently (if not every day) between adults and children.  When we do behavioral consultations we hear this over and over again, while well-meaning parents explain that consequences don’t work. It is important for kids to understand that their behaviors do have a consequence just like adults do, but at what expense? If the child loses an item every day as a consequence for negative behavior, and doesn’t know when s/he will get the item back, the consequences might not work.  The child might be thinking that no matter what s/he does he will lose something, so what’s the point of behaving well? In this case, the parent is right and consequences really aren’t working. The negative behaviors will only continue.   So, what can a parent do?

You can say, "Rewind!", "Let's try that again," or, "How could you do this differently," to let the child have a second chance. Taking things away at the moment the behavior occurs doesn't give the child a chance to change the behavior. Teaching the child that there are other options is very important for moving forward. Every time you want to take something away, think of it as a learning opportunity - this is a time to teach your child a new way to act.  Once you experience multiple days of frustration (both parties) it is important to take time out from life and spend quality time together. This isn’t about reinforcing negative behaviors, but about building the relationships, as we must do as adults with out partner.  

Building an unconditional relationship with your child will show that you love them, apart from their behavior. Building quality time into your day should not be conditional on your child's actions - instead of taking away story time if your child had a giant tantrum, try using story time as a way to repair what has been broken by the frustration of raising kids. Building relationships and teaching your child new ways to respond to life, will change behavior faster than any negative consequences. 

More importantly, it will keep you sane. 

Youth Mentoring

High school years and beyond are a tough time to navigate. There are so many decisions to be made, and so many habits to be formed. When you look back over your late teens and early twenties, think about how many things you had to learn the hard way!

At Kahlon Family Services, we are very excited to announce the launch of our mentoring program, for young people struggling to make goals, find direction and gain ground with their lives. While many of our services address the needs of individuals on the Autism Spectrum, behavioral differences and disabilities, our mentoring program is aimed at helping fuel the lives of any young person needing some extra help taking life's next steps.

Whether it's helping to create and stick to a budget, discovering passions and possible career paths, applying for further education or learning the skills for developing a healthier lifestyle, we can provide a specialist ready to meet with the client and help them on their way to results. 

If you are interested in knowing more about our mentoring services, email us on info@kahlonfamilyservices.com 

Body Breaks in the Classroom

A collection of Body Break cards in a third grade classroom 

At Kahlon Family Services, we have School Shadowing services, where a Behavior Specialist will go to school with a child who has special needs and help them learn to their very best potential. One of the most important elements of shadowing a child, is allowing them breaks during the day to get their mind and body back in the game. Through experience, we have developed a thorough system that works best for kids - giving them a good break, and getting them back into the classroom - fast!

The best part about a good body break, is that all children can benefit, not just those with special needs. It is for this reason that we like to write down some suggestions on index cards and set them up in the classroom, for all kids to use, at any time during the day.

__________

(1) Get Your Body Moving
Walk, run, skip, lunge or march! For a twist, try bear walking (like downward dog pose, walking on hands and feet) or crab walking (face up, walking on hands and feet). Kids with high levels of energy and low levels of attention need to move, in order to be contributing members of a classroom community. If you have a child (or student) constantly milling around the room, impulsively calling out or being generally disruptive - allow them some scheduled time to move!

(2)Get Your Heart Rate Up
Jumping jacks, push ups, jogging on the spot, cross-crawls, hula hooping, jump rope - can you think of more ways? Try and wear these kids out! Seems like mission impossible - but become their drill sergeant and see how much more focused they can be when they've burned off some significant steam.

(3) Work Your Core
Sit ups, crunches, scissor kicks, planking, "Superman" (laying face down on the floor, then lifting head, arms and legs for 10 seconds x 3 repetitions) - or any core-engaging yoga pose. Core strength is so important for kids, their attention spans, the ability to sit for longer periods of time and developing their play skills.

(4) Calm Your Body 
Before re-entering a classroom, or a situation where they are expected to be calm, the child needs to calm their body. We need to send them back in already set up for success! (This is why simply giving them time to run around and return to the room isn't enough for a lot of high-energy kids - they'll just return more hyped up). Try one minute of deep breathing, with models like "Lazy 8's" (by Zones of Regulation), bubble breaths (raise your arms like a big, round bubble on the inhale, exhale by lowering your arms slowly) or simply ask them to lay on the floor and focus on breathing.

Respite vs. Babysitting

All parents need to take breaks. We tell our kids to 'take a break', so we need to practice what we preach and take some time out for ourselves. When it comes to leaving your children in the care of others, most parents have a hard time finding (and keeping) babysitters around. By adding a special needs child into the mix, the struggle to find a babysitter intensifies exponentially. At Kahlon Family Services, we provide 'respite' care for parents whose children have developmental delays, behavioral differences or any other type of special need.

You may have heard the term 'respite' before, in the context of caring for people who have quite severe disabilities. While this term is probably thrown around a lot more in these situations, we would like to help you broaden this definition. Technically, 'respite' means, "A short period of rest from something that is difficult." We don't mean to say that your child is difficult, but if you're honest you'll agree that parenting a special needs child is actually quite difficult.

At Kahlon Family Services, we offer care under the term 'respite' because we feel that our staff are able to provide your family with not only childcare, but peace of mind. On the nights where you need to be at a meeting, or when you'd like to go on a date, or to a party - you can leave your children with a behavior specialist who is prepared for your family's unique challenges. On the days during school breaks where you need someone to watch your child, or you need a weekend off - we have it covered.

For more information about respite, or to schedule a consultation with a specialist, please contact us at info@kahlonfamilyservices.com