The Diagnosis Conversation

At some point, all children with special needs will get to a stage where they realize that they are different. Whether you wait until then, or preempt the curiosity - most parents will talk to their children about their differences. How do you talk to your child about something so huge?

Speak their Language
When dropping information about diagnoses like Autism, use language that your child will understand. Instead of figurative speech (which can be confusing), use literal and logical language. Use vocabulary that suits the way they speak - be careful not to make the delivery babyish, or far too sophisticated for their level of understanding.

Focus on Strengths
With Autism, there are very clear strengths to be recognized. In particular, many people on the spectrum have extraordinary abilities and very high IQs. When your child finds out that they have differences, it can be comforting to know that there are some advantages. Point out your child's specific skills and celebrate the amazing parts of their diagnosis.

Be Honest 
If the child has Autism, think about how literal they can be. By skirting around the details, you are giving your child a false representation of their diagnosis. Obviously, only present developmentally appropriate information, but be honest within that boundary. Treat your child with respect, and help them to grow by honesty.

Timing is Everything
Is your child ready for this information? Is it a secret, or is s/he able to talk about their diagnosis openly with others? Talk to the professionals that work with your child, to gauge their opinions about whether or not this is the right time to talk about their diagnosis.

Be Available
It is likely that your child will take some time to process this information. Provide them with books or websites that can help explain their diagnosis, and it might be a good idea to link adolescents with a support group or safe-space online forum. As parents, don't push your child to talk about their feelings. Stay open, stay available for when they seek to talk to you.

Use Your Support Systems 
If you feel comfortable, share with your support system the fact that your child has found out about their diagnosis. A trusted Aunt, Uncle, Coach or family friend might provide support when your child is having a hard time coming to terms with what it means to be socially different.