Literally.

As adults, we don't really have any idea how much weight is carried by our words.

Something that makes sense to us can be heard very differently by a child - especially a child with special needs. Part of having an Autism Spectrum Disorder is taking things very, very, literally; so it is absolutely imperative that we develop an awareness of how our words are heard by children who process things differently.

(1) Your child isn't overreacting on purpose. 
Even for the most seasoned parents, it's worth regularly reminding yourself that there's a good chance that your child's literal interpretation of information isn't just their way of being silly or funny. It might feel like he is trying to annoy you with disproportionate overreactions - as loud and as irrational as it may seem at the time, a child on the Autism Spectrum really needs you to be patient. You may have times where you can not possibly understand why she can't 'get' certain things, or why explaining some concepts feels like chasing your tail. It's also worth noting that you're human, and at times you will say or do things that you may later regret. If you lose your cool; take a breath, apologize and move on.

(2) Explain metaphoric and abstract language. 
Don't stop using abstract language, just because your child doesn't seem to understand it. By removing metaphors from your communication, you lose out on vital teachable moments. Speak figuratively, and take time to explain what the figure of speech means. Try to use the phrase again, and see if your child can begin to contextualize metaphoric language. Also, your child may have difficulty understanding why we use the same word in two very different ways. Recently, one of our 10 year old clients made a card for his Behavior Specialist. When she said, "Aww! That's so sweet!" he replied, "No, sugar is sweet. This is a card."

(3) Be careful with scare tactics and overshare. 
Certain generations and cultures approach child rearing with a pocketful of scare tactics, in order to keep children safe and well-behaved. Just because these methods have worked through the ages, it doesn't mean they're a great idea to try on kids with Autism. To say that standing unsafely on a chair will cause your son to fall and break his neck (thus rendering him quadriplegic) may work with some children and it also may give other kids severe anxiety about chair safety. Likewise - be careful about how much information you give certain children about germs, natural disasters, death and other topics that may develop into anxiety. If your child seems unnaturally scared about something, try and figure out where the information came from as soon as possible.

(4) Take questions again, and again, and again. 
When you have explained information, instructions or a new concept to your child, ask her if she has any questions. Children who take information literally are often the same children who process information slowly. Once you are done with a conversation, be prepared to talk about it again at a later time. Sometimes it will appear that your child hasn't listened to a word you have said, then three days later she might ask you a very specific question about something you can hardly remember saying.

(5) Communicate this information to your child's support system. 
If it takes a village to raise a child, then it takes; a village, an occupational therapist, a behavior specialist, a nutritionist, a speech therapist, two teachers, a shadow, a physical therapist, a general practitioner and every topic Web MD to raise a child with special needs. Your child has a "team" of people who help him learn, and develop skills through early intervention. When everybody is on the same page with communication, your child is able to learn as much as possible as naturally as possible. It can be difficult to bring awareness to more "modern" special needs when it comes to older generations of relatives, but with respect, do your best to advocate for what is best for your child.

Everybody will say things that these kids will misunderstand - you yourself will probably make a thousand communication mistakes before your son or daughter reaches their tenth birthday. Nobody is perfect, and there are no "right" answers when it comes to parenting. Special needs parenting rests heavily on the ever-arbitrary balance between what a child can do, and what they are limited by. Don't be afraid to fail, instead, be a parent who tries their very best.