Calm Down!

So, we have it on good authority that mercury is now out of retrograde. This means everyone should just calm the heck down, right? (OK. Good, thank you.) Now that the mercury issue is settled, let's talk about some other non-planetary methods of calming ourselves.

Life is stressful in general, even before you add children into the mix. Whether your kids are typically developing or not, as a grown-up human being it is important to develop a tool kit of responses to situations that raise the anxiety level up a few notches.

We thought we'd share with you a couple:

(1) Breathe!
This is the most cliche, obvious thing anyone could ever say to you. But have you ever truly paid attention to your breath before? I have noticed that my knee-jerk response to stress is a deep breath. Sometimes I am not even aware that I am feeling overwhelmed, then I do this deep, labored breath and it reminds me to slow down and take care of myself. Other times, I feel myself entering the crazy zone and I consciously stop and breathe deeply. A friend of mine once said that apparently if you breathe according to the beats of your heart you can never feel anxious. This is good advice except for the part where my inner musician wants to clarify how many bpm (beats per minute) the breath needs to be. I tried 4 heart beats in, 4 out and it seemed OK. We just met and this is crazy, but give it a try, maybe?

(2) Go Outside!
It is not particularly realistic for me to suggest that y'all go kayaking or scale a mountain when you feel stressed out. Did you know that the sun can make you feel happier? All that vitamin D goodness feeds the soul. Staying inside too much can start to choke your senses. If you can grab a few minutes of sun and fresh air every day, with or without kids in tow, you may just remember that things will get better eventually. Better still, get some exercise! Some families enjoy riding their bikes at the park, others enjoy shooting hoops or swimming. Find your family's niche and model an active lifestyle to your kids. They'll thank you for it later.

(3) "Listening Song"
I started using the "Listening Song" technique in the car as a non-punitive method of calming down when things got stressful in the car. One of my boy's stims was singing. He would sing constantly, and this would annoy his brother. They both have low frustration tolerance and sensory processing issues - next minute, all hell would break loose in the back seat of the car. Rather than have them screaming bloody murder while we cruise down the highway, I told them that we needed one WHOLE song where nobody was singing or talking - just listening. It was useful for everyone to get what they wanted, and for everyone to take a minute to be still. I also use the "Listening Song" after any car meltdown to give myself a moment before saying things to the kids out of anger, that I would later regret.

(4) Rescue Remedy!
These products (pictured above) are natural chill-out concoctions. Do they work? Yes. I was skeptical at first, then one day my friend and I put too much in our water... and we were giggling like middle school girls. I don't recommend the foolish misuse of the product (as mentioned by my foolish self) - always read the label! The product isn't chemical or addictive, and it doesn't make you sleepy like valerian. There are specific kids products by RR, so again, always read the label.

(5) Teach your kids self-regulation techniques!

BUBBLE BREATHS: Take a deep breath in, and raise your arms like a round bubble inflating. Exhale and slowly deflate the 'bubble'. This is perfect for those times you're in public and your child melts down and you need a way of stepping aside and calming him/her down.

DEEP PRESSURE: There are many ways to apply deep pressure to an anxious child, and you don't need to be an Occupational Therapist to perform them.

The first way is: A BEAR HUG! In the heat of the moment, you might not want to bear hug a kid with sensory sensitivities - they may hate it. But, as a preventative measure you need absolutely no reason to grab your child and hug him/her tight. This sensory input will remind your child where their body is in space, and subsequently calm them down.

When you see their engine revving up, grab your child's hand and sandwich it between yours - these are called HAND SQUEEZES. Most kids find this funny, and they like the input.

You can even grab some pillows/cushions and use your weight to (safely) squish your kid to the floor or couch for PILLOW SQUISHES. Sometimes I play this game with my SPD 6y.o. where he covers himself with a couch pillow and I "sit on the couch" and act like I don't know where he is. When he giggles, I take the pillow off of him and discover why the furniture is laughing. He thinks it is so funny, and it calms his system down so much.

{ALWAYS make sure your child can handle the amount of pressure you are giving them. If they can't breathe, or they say "OUCH" - then it is just about the worst game ever. Just be safe, people!}